Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about companionship. About how it might be the most important thing we have when life gets hard.

Not fixing each other. Not solving each other’s problems. Just being there. Sitting in it together. Showing up when things fall apart and staying even when there’s nothing you can do except be present.

There’s a phrase I heard recently on a podcast with Simon Sinek that captures this: “It is an honor to sit in the mud with you.”

An honor. Not a burden. Not an obligation. An honor.

How are you holding up?

Recently, a classmate of mine passed away. This isn’t something I thought I would write about. I don’t have the right words for it. Nobody does. It’s just devastating.

But in the weeks since, something happened that I’m grateful for. Our class started reaching out to one another – not just to talk about what happened, but to check in. “How are you holding up?” “I can’t stop thinking about it.” “I can’t sleep, can you?” Not the usual small talk – actual conversations about how we were doing. And when someone said they weren’t okay, nobody tried to fix it. We accepted there was no fixing it.

At the memorial, I watched his parents hug people they had never met, holding onto each person as if it kept them upright. In this devastating time, they opened their arms to allow everyone to mourn him together. We shared stories. We cried. We sat in silence. It wasn’t healing or comforting – not in any conventional sense. But it was an honor to sit in it together – to not be alone, to show up for him, for his family, and for each other.

We found companionship. Being there together when nothing else made sense.

Around the same time, a friend of mine went through a breakup. She moved in with me for a week. Not because I had answers. Not because I could fix what was broken. Just because she needed company, and I could offer that. And honestly, because I could use some company as well.

Some nights we talked. Some nights we didn’t. Some nights we just watched TV or cooked dinner or sat in the same room doing our own things. And that was enough. Being, once again, reminded of the power of sitting in it together.

Why are we all trying to do it alone?

I’ve always been someone who handles things on my own. When life gets messy, my instinct is to retreat, process internally, and not burden anyone else with what I’m going through. For a long time, I thought that was my biggest strength.

But what I’m learning is that opening up, sharing those moments, allowing others to sit in the mud with me – that’s the real strength. That takes much more courage. Saying out loud: “I’m not okay right now.” Letting someone be present with you, even when they can’t fix anything.

And it doesn’t have to be about loss or breakups or hitting rock bottom. Companionship matters during a difficult week, a stressful project, feeling overwhelmed, or lonely. Anything that makes you feel like you’re carrying too much alone.

I know I’m not the only one. We’re in the middle of a generational epidemic of loneliness, yet we keep turning to the wrong remedies. “Community” has become a buzzword in Marketing. Social media has become a paradox of itself – built to connect, we use it to disconnect. To distract ourselves. To shut off our feelings.

We’ve lost a genuine sense of community, and we feel it. We’re more connected than ever, and somehow lonelier than we’ve ever been.

Life is hard, Let's do it together

Here’s a hard truth: There is no magic moment when everything sorts out and you will be happy forever. Life has its ups and downs. That’s just how it is. No rainbow without rain, or something like that.

But here’s the good news: You don’t have to do it alone. When you’re in the downs – when you’re in the mud – companionship is what gets you through. Not because someone can pull you out or makes the pain go away – those are our own battles to fight. But they can remind you that you don’t have to carry everything alone. Because they show up tomorrow and the day after that, not to fix it, but to be in it together.

From my own experience, I can say it really is such an honor when someone does reach out to me. When they trust me enough to let me see them struggling. When they’re inviting companionship. And it is this feeling that helps me find the courage to reach out more myself. To let others experience this honor, giving them the chance to sit in it with me, to keep me company.

It’s what holds us together when everything else is falling apart.

So to my classmates: thank you for the companionship. For being willing to sit in it together.

To the family: thank you for letting us be part of your hardest season. I am sending you all the strength I can.

To my friend: thank you for trusting me in this time and for letting me keep you company – the cooking, the talking and the silence.

You have all reminded me what companionship actually means. Not having the answers. Not being strong enough to fix everything. Just choosing to not let each other face the hard things alone.

If you’re going through something, reach out. Let someone offer you companionship. And when someone reaches out to you, show up. Be present. It is such an honor.

Let’s sit in the mud together and remind each other that we’re not alone.

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